Today I battled a coconut and I killed a small pizza. Life is good. LOL!
Okay. I guess I can start at the beginning of the epic battle that took up my entire afternoon. Sometimes I decide to make treats for The Hubble's class. So far I've sent in espresso walnut cake, lemon blueberry bundt cake, and The Pioneer Woman's bacon onion cheddar biscuits. So one day The Hubble comes home and tells me that a girl in his class has asked me to make something gluten free, sugar free, and dairy free. Basically, she wanted me to take all the fun out of a baked good and send it in for her. Okay, sure lady, whatever you say.
Well, things got a bit worse. The girl actually sent home with The Hubble a bag of almond flour (basically ground up almonds) and two cookies that she wanted me to recreate. Apparently this girl enjoys the Paleo diet. The people who subscribe to this diet choose not to eat anything that wasn't available in the Paleolithic era. The cookies have four ingredients listed, almond flour, ginger, macadamia nuts, and unprocessed coconut. Well, do you know how hard it is to find coconut that isn't sweetened or processed?? Right. Enter in the opponent. A fresh coconut. I did my research. I found that if you put it in the oven for about 15 minutes it will crack.
The first issue was trying to get the milk out. The Hubble has apparently decided it's time to play hide and seek with his screwdrivers. I was going to hammer a screwdriver into the eye of the coconut. So that was a lot of fun figuring that out without the screwdrivers. Then let me tell you...the oven thing?? Yeah. It doesn't work. I pretty much beat the crap out of that thing until it submitted to me and opened!
This whole process took a few hours of intense labor, many colorful words, and burnt fingers because putting the coconut in the oven apparently cooks it, not cracks it! Who knew?!?!?! I think I finally figured out the cookie recipe, I just have to wait until The Hubble takes them to her to taste tomorrow.
By the time this was all over there was no way I was interested in making dinner. So we ordered pizza. The Hubble and I actually routed each other on and made it to the finish line with each of our pizzas! We had never eaten a small pizza solo and we were in it to win it baby! So the score for today:
I think there is a clear winner here folks. However, unfortunately the only picture I snapped of this epic coconut battle was on my phone. So here's my crappy phone photographic proof that I won! Take that coconut!!