And I Miss You {Project 365: Day 39}

I know, I know. I said I would catch up with my last post.

But I wanted today to be a solo post.

Because I actually wanted to write something and didn't want it all wrapped up in a catch up post.

We took Baby N to his 6 month well baby check up. He is now 17 pounds 12 ounces (55th percentile) and 28.5 inches (99th percentile). So his weight is evening out but he grew THREE INCHES in the last 2 months. Crazy!!

He's getting so big!

I can't stop thinking about how much The Hubble is missing right now.

Baby N is starting to get up on his hands and knees and launch himself forward.

He's been rolling all over the place and is growing like crazy.

I know he's going to be crawling soon.

And The Hubble is missing it.

Baby N babbles ALL.THE.TIME. And The Hubble can't hear him.

Not only that, but Little Butt is so smart and learning so much in school!

She can already count to 30. She recognizes numbers 0-9 when they are written. She knows all the upper case letters, 25 of the lower case letters (she confuses d with b), and knows the sounds of 25 letters (gets confused with i).

She has so many questions. So many interest.

And The Hubble is missing it.

Not only that, but we are missing him...

I had a hard day yesterday. Knowing that Baby N is already half a year old and he doesn't even know who his Daddy is.

Little Butt has been missing him like crazy lately.

I picked her up from school a week or so ago and found out she had been pretty emotional that day and ended up crying because she missed her daddy.

She sat in my lap and cried last night because she misses her daddy.

And today...today she carried around a picture of the two of them. Literally, she took it everywhere with her.

She took it to the doctor's office with her this morning.

She took it to school with her this afternoon.

I had placed it in a pocket of her backpack when she went to school but when I picked her up, it was in her hand and she was showing people.

She's so sweet.

He has not been living with us for almost 9 months now but we aren't even close to being done. Technically, we are still at the beginning.

I feel as though the ache...the emptiness...keeps growing each and every day.

There are only so many things that I can add to our schedules to keep us busy enough not to notice.

But we do notice.

We notice when he isn't at birthday parties that Little Butt is invited to.

We notice when he isn't shopping for furniture or Valentine's Day cards with us.

We notice when we go to doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, or to pick out Little Butt's star prize at the end of the week.

We notice.

The void is impossible NOT to notice.

He called on Sunday. We really needed that call. But we missed it...

And we noticed...

And So It Begins...Again

"Your call will end in 30 seconds."

We all know those words don't we?

How you rush through with the "I love you", the "give my love to the kids", and "can you call my parents and let them know?"

I talked to The Hubble about an hour or so ago.

He made it safely over to...wherever.

I honestly have no idea where he is or what he's doing. What's funny is neither does he. He won't know where he's going to be or what his assignment will be until he gets "there."

Who knows.

All I know is that boots are on the ground.

The countdown begins now.

365 days.

1 year.

And yes, I know there will be an R&R in there somewhere. But I have no idea when.

I have not one clue when I will see my beloved again.

All I know is that every time someone unexpected comes to my door, my heart will nose dive into my toes as I shakily walk toward the door.

I was looking through the pictures of our recent time together. Wouldn't you know that they are all of the kids. We have no pictures of The Hubble with the kiddos.

The most recent picture I have of him is this self portrait I found on the camera.

I guess that will have to do for now.

A Tale of...Laundry

Once upon a time...I wrote a blog post about laundry.

That was when I introduced you to Bill & Peggy; the family members that almost made The Hubble and me to divorce.

I also explained the right (mine) and wrong (his) ways to fold and put away laundry.

Well...

After that post, I was doing laundry with The Hubble...again (don't ask me why I put myself through this kind of torture). I realized that it was going to end in...well...something bad. So I walked away. And he just kind of became in charge of the laundry.

Well, now I have another problem....

The Hubble is gone now. He's not here to do the laundry. And I no longer seem to be capable of doing it myself.

So let me tell you what happens with the laundry nowadays.

The clean laundry stays in the basket. Some days I pour it out onto my bed so I can find something (usually something essential like underwear). Then it goes back into the basket when it's time for bed.

If I do actually sort the laundry, it ends up in a neat pile on top of something, like the new pack 'n play I bought for Baby  N.

And the other problem, if you notice on the floor next to the pack 'n play box...

And the pile of clothes here on the floor next to the laundry basket...

And the pile of clothes on The Hubble's nightstand...

Since my laundry basket is full of clean clothes, I find varied and interesting places to hold my dirty laundry.

I guess I need to find my stride and figure out how to do laundry again huh??

Is there a household chore you have trouble figuring out how to do on your own when your soldier is gone??? Or am I the only one here???

Show Your Support with Gillette

Working in retail for so long...I've had my fair share of complaints. I mean...I was the manager on duty most of the times I worked so all the shiz talking came to me right??

Unfortunately, people in service positions don't hear a lot of positive feedback. People are more likely to complain before they will give a compliment. Actually, customers RARELY seek out managers for jobs well done.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've been known to do my fair share of complaining...but when someone does something great, I feel the need to share!

Being a military spouse is hard. We all know that. And being a soldier is harder. We all know that! In my travels with The Hubble we have often been stopped so someone could shake The Hubble's hand and thank him for his service. His response is always "Thank you for the support."

When we were moving from El Paso, Texas to Middle of Nowhere, Missouri we stopped in Lawton, Oklahoma and ate at a Cracker Barrel. When we were done with our meal, we found out some random customer paid for the 5 of us in our party because they found out about The Hubble being a soldier.

Unfortunately, I don't often get that warm and fuzzy feeling from many companies. There are some stand outs.

Did you know that when driving through Houston, Texas a military ID will get you free passage through the toll roads? Awesome right??

Image Source

The USO is one of those military supporters. They have places for our soldiers to sleep when they are stranded in airports. They send entertainment overseas to our troops in Theater. They are just great.

But this is not a post about the USO. No...this is about Gillette. Yes, you read me right. Gillette. The razor people.

I was recently contacted about a standout thing Gillette is doing for our soldiers. 


Here's the deal. Gillette is trying to raise and donate up to $100,000 to the USO (you know...that place that helps our soldier's morale so much). To raise this money, Gillette needs our help!


But how you ask??


It's easy! All you have to do is jump over to Gillette's Facebook page and "like" them.  


Once you "like" them, you post a picture, video or "story" about a soldier in your life to their Facebook page.


For every story or picture of a soldier, Gillette will donate $1 to the USO.


The story can be as simple as "We are so proud of you and can't wait for you to come home." 


Pretty much anything goes as long as you are showing your pride in a US Soldier. 


I wish I could tell you how much Gillette has raised so far but they don't have a running total. No matter. The page is FULL of messages of appreciation!


Now don't waste your time. Get over there and show your support for our soldier and the USO. This opportunity is only running through July 4th. 

I look forward to seeing your message there!

Who Can It Be Now?

Why...it's PVT Murphy of course!!

Why wouldn't he rear his ugly head already??

I mean, The Hubble had been gone for a bit under a week when PVT Murphy decided to make his appearance.

I don't know why...but I thought I had a bit more time. 

Shouldn't The Hubble at least be deployed before something happens?

Apparently not.

Let me tell you about my day that day.

I invited my niece to come hang out with Little Butt and me for the day. We were going to work on my Daring Bakers challenge. My niece loves to cook and bake like I do and she's never really had a role model for it so I thought I could start cooking/baking with her to help her learn some techniques.

We were hanging out and I noticed that my Little Niecelet (my niece's daughter) had disappeared. She was found in the computer room/library. So my niece and I started closing the doors that Little Niecelet shouldn't go into. 

I went to close my bedroom door and somehow...I have no idea how this happened...I kicked the side/bottom corner of the door with my little toe. The whole thing is kind of vague for me. 

All I know is that all of a sudden there was excruciating pain and numbness all at the same time. I watched as my toe began to swell to twice the original size. 

I had shooting pains up through my foot and it burned and was numb...it was really weird. My niece got me some ice but it hurt way too badly to keep the ice on. 

I was on the verge of tears and thought for sure that maybe I had broken it.

It finally calmed down a bit but still hurt to put any weight on it. 

And what was worse...it's my driving foot.

So here I was...7 months pregnant, with a 4 year old, no husband and now I broke a toe on my driver's foot. Great!

Later that night, I realized there was a pretty nice bruise in between the last two toes:

(Please forgive my horrible pedicure in these pictures, I was supposed to go get my feet done the following weekend).

Even later that night, I realized that the bruise had extended to the top of the foot above those two toes.

(The bruise is a bit hard to see in the picture but if you look closely you can see discoloration)

The bruising has reduced significantly, as has the pain. It still hurts when I move it a certain way or put pressure on it in the wrong spot.

I did go to the ER the next day (only because my family insisted) and they didn't even take an x-ray. So I still don't know if I broke it or just jammed it really good. 

Either way, the only thing they would be able to do would be to buddy wrap the two toes. They did that. And let me tell you...it helped tremendously.

Also, I wasn't sure if I could drive, but my JerBear suggested I get in the car with it off and try to press the peddles. It worked! So now things aren't so bad.

But it just figures that something like this would happen as soon as The Hubble is a thousand or more miles away.

Such is life as a military wife. And I know you all know what I'm talking about!

It's Nights Like This

The other night, I got super excited because I took the trash out.

It's not just that I took the trash out. But I took it out on my own. (Well, technically my older sister was with me when I walked it down to the curb).

Later that night, The Hubble called me and we started chatting. I got super excited and was about to tell him about me taking the trash down to the curb when it hit me...

The last time the trash was taken out, he took it. It's been a week. It's only been a week. How the Hell can it only have been a week???

See...The Hubble moved Little Butt and me down here to Texas because he had to go play Army. He has now been gone for a little over a week.

I know that's just a drop in the bucket. And I think that's the problem....it's just a drop in the bucket.

We will see The Hubble for a total of 3 weeks (and that's being optimistic) over the next 16 months.

And it's only been a week.

The one good thing is that I've been able to talk to him every day. But that will change come October/November. Then it goes back to that whole "not knowing if I'll ever see or hear from him again" thing.

But anyway...the point to this post was to talk about nighttime.

I've decided I hate nighttime now.

I seem to keep staying up until somewhere between 1am-2am now. I don't want to go to sleep.

My most hated part of the day or night is right after I put Little Butt to bed.

That's when I start turning things off and thinking about washing up and heading to bed...alone.

And it doesn't help that I'm super paranoid. Every noise makes me nervous and jumpy. Some nights I walk through the house, holding a weapon, checking all the locks on the doors and windows. But of course it's not enough to check them once. No...I have to check them several times throughout the course of the night.

Usually it's worse the first few nights The Hubble is gone. I know it gets better.

But right now...

It's only been a week.

My New Name is Nancy

Hi all! I'm baaaaaa-aaaaaaack!!!

Did you miss me??? I missed you guys!

I want to thank all the amazing bloggers who helped me out during our move. I really needed it and greatly appreciate all your help!

And hello to all my new readers! ::waves enthusiastically:: HI!!!! Thanks for coming to hang out with me!

This move, it seems, has been nothing but trouble. Blah!

I don't want to be a Negative Nancy but I'm just totally annoyed with this whole process this time. It seems like if we didn't have bad luck right now, we wouldn't have any luck at all.

I'm sure most of you know about the car trouble we had a couple months ago. For those of you who didn't read about it and don't want to, here's the gist. About a month, 2 car care places and $2,400 later...my car was finally fixed and running great. When we FINALLY got it back fixed, it felt like the happiest day of my life and a little too good to be true.

So here is how the move went down:

Friday night: The Hubble drove 2 1/2 hours to St. Louis to pick up his parents while I stayed up until 11pm working on Little Butt's birthday cake (the birthday post is coming soon to a screen near you).

Saturday morning: We wake up and start packing. I finish up the cake and we, somehow, pull off Little Butt's birthday party. After the guests left, back to packing.

Earlier in the week, we called to confirm our U-Haul reservation and no one could find it. We finally track down a truck the size we needed and it was in town! We thought we were golden, until Saturday morning when we were supposed to pick it up and the owner of the shop called to say the guy who had the truck couldn't unload it. He promised he'd call us if he got the truck in by noon when he closed. Around 1pm, just as The Hubble was about to call a place in Springfield (an hour and a half away) the guy called and said he had the truck. Woohoo! Saved!

So The Hubble and his dad ran and picked up the truck before the party started.

Luckily, the party went off without a hitch and Little Butt had a great time!

Sunday: loading of the truck and more packing. The Hubble was very excited to see that everything fit in the truck. He was worried we wouldn't have enough room. But it all fit and was all good.

Monday was clean, clean, clean and finishing up the packing. The Hubble needed to mow the lawn as well. His dad ran to the gas station to get gas for the mower. He came back shortly afterward and informed us that The Hubble's car would not turn off. The key was stuck in the ignition and wouldn't do anything. They took it to the shop. Awesome right?? We were heading out Wednesday morning and had to put the car in the shop.

We also needed to get the carpets professionally cleaned (the cleaner was ONLY 4 hours late). But, we finally got the house done and we were able to relax for the evening.

Tuesday was the walk through with the landlord. It went well. And $400 later, we picked up The Hubble's car. We were now able to breathe a sigh of relief.

In the midst of all of this, The Hubble was desperately trying to track down his orders (that he STILL doesn't have).

We left Wednesday morning and everything worked out getting down here. We arrived Thursday afternoon, quickly got the keys to the house and ran out here to wait for the gas guy to turn on our gas before the long weekend. (It was Easter weekend).

The guys swiftly unloaded the truck then ran to turn it back in. We've been doing great unpacking. We are almost done, down to the libraries really.

We had to get both of our cars RE-inspected because Texas is nationalized and does not recognize Missouri state inspections. No problem.

We thought we were in the clear until yesterday when I walked outside and found out my tire was very flat. The Hubble took it in today and it is an irreparable flat. So now, we either replace 2 tires to fix the one or bite the bullet and replace them all since it's the OTHER 2 that really need replacing.

While The Hubble is on the phone getting tire quotes, I'm here complaining about the whole situation. I just feel tired about it all.

And let's not even get into the Tricare stuff. Having to switch regions and see a PCM (primary care manager) just to get a referral to see and OB so I can get in to get this baby checked on.

Someone please tell me why we decided to do this again!!! Oh yeah...because I wasn't interested in staying in the middle of nowhere Missouri while The Hubble deployed and I had a baby. Being close to family was more appealing.

Oh yeah...and we are STILL waiting for The Hubble's orders. For the last year, we've been tracking that he's going to school in DC before deploying. Last week, we found out he's not going to DC...he's going to Tampa. So all the work he had done on his orders has to be re-done to get the right orders.

BUT...I should count my blessings right?? After all of this I start to think of all he devastation that has happened lately. At least I have a family and a home to be annoyed with right??

Okay. I'm done. Let's leave this off with a little cuteness. Little Butt really enjoyed packing the U-Haul.

She even had the perfect boots on to help right??

On the Road Again...Almost

Here I sit...in a  hotel room...

The last few days have been a complete whirlwind of activity. As I sit here, I find myself not knowing what to do with so much down time.

The Hubble is back at the house doing a bit more work before calling it a day, but he dropped Little Butt and me off at the room so we could rest and get ready for tomorrow.

Wednesday was Little Butt's birthday. The Hubble met as for a bulgogi lunch (yes, that was Little Butt's choice of cuisine). She got the movie Tangled that day for her birthday, so of course, her and I had to order pizza that night and watch it. It was a great girl's night while The Hubble had a work event to attend.

Thursday, Little Butt and I ran around all morning and some of that afternoon getting her 4 year checkup, immunizations and grabbing some groceries. That evening, I started on her birthday cake (I'll be posting pictures of this crazy cake once we get settled in Texas).

Friday was full of packing and cake decorating. The Hubble and I achieved as much as we could within the limited amount of time he had between him getting off of work and having to drive 2 hours down to St. Louis to pick up his parents from the airport.

I worked on Little Butt's cake from about 5pm to 11pm. I was able to get most of it done but had to get up and finish things up the next day.

Saturday, we had Little Butt's birthday party. We had a dinosaur themed Kindermusik session for her. I didn't even know Kindermusic people did birthday parties. But hey...Little Butt and her friends had a blast!

The party didn't end until about 7pm, then it was work, work, work! I have no idea what time we finished up last night but I know I'm tired today!

We got up at 8am today and started working again. We literally did not stop moving until about 5:30pm when we finally called it quits to go get some dinner.

After dinner, The Hubble's parents went to their hotel, The Hubble dropped off Little Butt and me and he headed back to the house to get more work done.

Which brings us back full circle.

I can't believe we have already been here a year! It was a year ago that Little Butt played in these boxes:

How is it that we are moving again already??

Oh well...on to bigger and better things I guess.

For the next couple weeks, you will be being kept company by some really great bloggers while I'm off doing all this crazy moving stuff. Give them lots of love and make them feel welcome please!

Next time I type to you, I hope to be in Texas! Wish us luck!!

Packing While Fat Sucks

Today, I was going to write about how I haven't really been sleeping lately.

I used to have insomnia pretty bad...but since I got pregnant I've just been crazy tired...CONSTANTLY.

I think it's the pain in my legs that are preventing me from sleeping. And that whole "needing to pee every 5 minutes" thing.

This morning I woke up and my right leg hurt SO bad! I rolled over on my left side and went back to sleep.

That is...until I heard Little Butt downstairs crying her eyes out.

She didn't see me behind my pillow and thought I was gone. She was so upset...poor thing.

BUT!

I'm not writing about all that today.

Today, I want to write about packing.

Really...the lack of packing that I'm doing lately.

See...we are moving...next week...and our house is not packed.

We don't have orders so the Army is not financing or covering this move in any way since it's a personal move and not Army sanctioned.

No big deal, we usually do DITY (do it yourself) moves anyway.

But this time...I'm huge!

Don't believe me??? Look!

See?? I told you! You still don't believe that I'm really huge?? Here's a close up!

WOAH MAMA!!!

See??? That's what I'm saying!

And let's put things in perspective here. Those boobs...they're 40F! That's right...size humongous!

And I'm only 21 weeks! Lord help me!!

I'm frustrated because I can't move as quickly or as easily as I would like to. I have this solid mass preventing me from bending up and down to pack boxes and pick things up.

I can't move any of the boxes that I pack anyway.

And to top it all off...The Hubble is in class this week. So he's no help.

He tries to be. But he had something last night, and he's gone all night on Wednesday (Little Butt's birthday, of course).

I'm doing what I can, but it's slow going. And I'm tired. Remember that whole "not sleeping" thing?? Yeah.

The Hubble has been really great though. He's encouraging instead of annoyed when he comes home after a full day of work to find out I've only packed 2 boxes (both being full of my shoes).

At least they were large boxes right?? (Although they are 2 large boxes FULL of my shoes!)

We have to get the packing done by Friday because his parents fly in to drive the UHaul for us that night. Then we have Little Butt's birthday party on Saturday (and she's asked me to make some crazy cake that will take me at least 2 days to make). We pack the truck on Sunday, do all the cleaning Monday, have the final walk through on Tuesday and out on Wednesday.

And let's go ahead while we're at it and throw a couple doctor's appointments in there shall we?? I mean...just for fun.

Well...I guess it's either laugh or cry.

No matter what...it has to get done. Who wants to come help??

Move # 399,574,896,096,343 Coming Up

Photo by Nicholas_T

It's getting to be about that time again...don't you think??

I mean, we've been here for almost a year.

Why stay when there are so many other places I can visit??

I guess I can tell you what I'm actually talking about.

Well, we are moving next month. 

I can say next month because it is officially March now.

Oh yeah...happy March! (Where did February disappear to???)

We found out recently that The Hubble is officially part of this new program he's been wanting to be a part of. He's pretty excited.

But that means that he moves to DC for 4 months for language training. Then he deploys for a year. 

He's not supposed to get his PCS (permanent change of station) orders until the end of the first deployment.

That means, Little Butt and I can stay in the middle of nowhere, welcome Baby N without Daddy/The Hubble and be here, in the middle of nowhere, by ourselves, for a year.

Or...

We can move closer to family while The Hubble runs off to play.

Which option do you think we chose?? Which option would you choose?

I've chosen to move closer to family.

That means, we will be heading to the Austin area late next month. 

That's okay by me. I'm tired of being here.

All my friends are leaving and I won't really have anyone here anyway.

At least there, I will have family. We also have tons of friends in Texas. So it's all good.

The only downside is that The Hubble won't be with us. But he will be off doing what he wants to do. And that's cool too.

When he gets back, it looks like either DC or Tampa for us. 

We have no idea which way they will send us but I can't say that either of those options are bad. 

So now it's time to start again. 

We are already speaking with a Realtor to find the perfect place for us (this time). 

I'm ready. 

I'm ready to leave this place.

I'm ready to be close to family again.

I'm ready to have a mall within a half hour drive again.

I'm ready to be able to go to Target at a whim!

I'm ready for the next step.

I'm NOT ready for The Hubble to leave again.

But that's the nature of the game right??

So there you have it. 

We are getting ready to hit the road...again. 

Anyone live in Texas???

You Wanna Know What Makes Me Mad??

Photo by muffet

Military discounts...that's what.

No seriously. Wait. Let me explain.

Oh. And I should probably warn you that this is going to be a "rant post" so if you don't want to read one of those...I would advise you to walk away. ;-)

I'm not against military discounts...don't get me wrong.

I actually think they are pretty groovy.

What makes me angry is when the discount is solely for the active duty member.

Let me back up a little bit. 

On Sunday, The Hubble, Little Butt and I went out for brunch with some friends. We had a lovely time. The food was pretty good. The serving staff was phenomenal (if not a little too friendly). 

When the server was ready to ring up our tickets, she came and asked if my friend and I were military or just the men. See...they give a 15% discount at this restaurant to active duty personnel only. 

That's totally awesome!

But why wouldn't it extend to the spouse who is sitting right next to the active duty member? Especially if the active duty member is the one paying for everyone who is with him??

For the longest time, this didn't bother me at all. 

Until 2009 when The Hubble went to hang out in Afghanistan for the year. 

My stepmother and I went to a movie theater who offered military discounts. When I showed them my ID card they told me that the discount was for active duty military only. My response?? Well...he's away at war right now so he can't be here to pay for this movie ticket.

Now, again, don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for a handout. I rarely even think to ask if there is a military discount available. 

What makes me mad is when an establishment offers a military discount but does not extend it to family members. 

When we spouses are left home to take care of the children, the households, the finances and the well being of everyone who is not deployed with the soldier...it feels like a slap in the face to be told "sorry, but you don't do enough to warrant this discount. We only give it to the ones who do the actual work." 

That's all. Thanks for listening. Rant over.

High Class, Leopard Prints, and Loveliness

So last Friday we went to the class Dining Out/Formal/Ball (please ignore my fatty McFatterson bingo arms!).

It was an okay night. I definitely recycled a dress that I wore about 6 years ago (since I've gained weight I fit in it again) but whatever.

We dropped Little Butt at a friend's house so she could play with her BFF Z-man for the night. She got to play outside for a while and had a blast. At one point I received a text message from J telling me that the kids went into the shed to get toys. Z-man grabbed his bike. Little Butt?? She grabbed...

A leopard print broom of course! I mean...what kid wouldn't want one of those right??? I figure she's my daughter so anything leopard print would catch her eye. That's my girl!

Oh...and do you notice her new princess shoes?? They are pink and sparkly and she picked them out herself. We went into Payless because I wanted to maybe get her some sneakers. She grabbed those off the shelf and put them on right then and there. Then she refused to take them off her feet. I had to pay for the box. I'm just glad she happened to have grabbed the correct size because that would have been awkward.

Anyway. Back to the Dining Out. Since we are in the middle of nowhere I don't know why I was shocked to pull up to the VFW in my pretty ballgown and have to wonder if we were supposed to go in the "bar" side or the "bingo" side. Hmmm...

It was pretty awesome to walk in and see all the locals staring at us in our finery. It was even more awesome when we had moved to the bingo side and had to walk past the karaoke-ing townies to get back outside.

I sat next to a chick who was just downright unhappy the ENTIRE time. I'm guessing that is her default setting but it kind of gets to a person sometimes. Especially if you are generally happy like I am.

What was even more wonderful about this Dining Out was that it was buffet style! We were the last table to go get our food so we got the scraps no one else wanted. No green veggies were left, just corn. And the rolls were nice and...toasted??? LOL! But whatever. My favorite part was that I was in a ball gown and heels carrying my two plates of food (the salad and the meal) back to my table across the room. Neat huh??

Once the formalities were over, we did have a nice time. Especially when the General stood on his head to take a shot and started having beer chugging contests with the guys. We are high class here people! LOL!

No...in all honesty, it's pretty neat to see the higher ranking guys being able to connect with the students here. The upside down shots were pretty spectacular and is not something I will forget any time soon.

It was nice to see all my friends dressed up and it was a great night out without Little Butt no matter how "country" the evening was.

When we went to go pick up Little Butt she was fast asleep so we ended up having some wine and watching Lord of the Rings with J and J.

The boys ended up going outside and me and the female J hung out inside and watched an episode of Dexter Season 3. I've watched the first 2 seasons and am trying to get The Hubble into the show. I borrowed the first season from J and I hope to get The Hubble watching it when he graduates this Career Course in a couple few weeks.

While I'm here. Let me also mention that the lovely K over at Uncork and Unwined bestowed upon me this lovely award! (How much are you loving my use of the word "lovely" in this sentence???)

Thanks for this award K! It was very thoughtful of you!

I guess that's it for now. I am about to have a battle with my house...it desperately needs cleaning. Boo-faces!

I hope you all are enjoying this last day of September. See you next month!

Moving So Fast I'm Forgetting My Purpose

Photo by Nathan Eal Photography

I feel like I've been going a mile a minute lately and just need to slow down!

I seriously can't believe that it's been over a week since I have updated my blog. And unfortunately, it has been almost that long since I looked at my Google Reader. 

I just kept ignoring it because I was scared to look and it just got worse and worse. So...I want to apologize to you all. There is probably no way I'm going to be able to read and comment on every blog post that has been published in the last week and a half to 2 weeks. 

So I'll ask you this...has anything really awesome happened in your life? Anything you would like me to know about?? A post you would like me to read? If so, please leave a link in the comments and I will get over there and read it.

So what's been going  on with me lately you ask?? I know, I know. You didn't technically ask...but you are here and so am I (fancy meeting you here) so I'm going to tell you anyway!

I'm going to break it down into days because that will just help me catch up. Hopefully after this catch up post I'll get better about being here with you more often again. So here goes...

Thursday ~ I recently joined a Spouse's Club here at the post and they have a monthly luncheon. Thursday was the first luncheon. My friend C came and picked up Little Butt for play group and to watch her while I went to this luncheon. The luncheon was okay. They charged $10 for a side salad with a thin chicken breast on it and 4 little cream puffs with chocolate and raspberry drizzle for dessert. I left hungry. Some lunch. But it was a decent time so I'll try it out again. They had some clubs for us to join and I thought about joining the book club but I didn't. Don't ask me why not. I may still. We'll see. 

After the luncheon I went to C's house to grab Little Butt. We ended up talking for a while then she extended an invite for dinner since The Hubble would be in class that night. I accepted. Little Butt and I ran to the store and grabbed a fruit tray and headed back. Dinner was delicious and fun. Got home around 9pm.

Friday ~ 2 mile walk in the morning with M. Little Butt and I stopped at the playground afterward. Finished at about 10:30am. Showered and dressed in time for The Hubble to get home. Drove and hour and a half to "town" and met up with some friends for a bit of shopping and dinner. Got home around 10pm.

Saturday ~ Mad dash to clean up the house and cook before our Italian potluck dinner party that started at 4pm. Potluck was a huge success. Tons of delicious food and amazing people. I love those dinner parties and I think they are even better for large groups when you make it a potluck. Then everyone can contribute and lots of recipe ideas are passed around. That ended at about 11:30pm. 

Sunday ~ Pretty chill morning. Bummed around the house and ate leftover pasta and Italian sausage for breakfast. 2 mile walk and playground with B, her daughter Princess, and Little Butt. Home for dinner, tubbies and bedtime.

Monday ~ 2 mile walk with Emily (yay she's back!), playground with Little Butt afterward. Came home, showered. Set up a couple posts for Jolts & Jollies. Spent the entire afternoon and evening baking! 

Tuesday ~ Had a spouse's panel that I was invited to attend. That lasted until the afternoon. Hung out with my friend The Marine's Wife and her son. Ran home to finish up some birthday stuff for B and headed over for a girl's night with Little Butt, Princess, B and me. We had pizza, cookies, cake and sangria and tried to watch a movie. Unfortunately, everyone got a bit tired and we only got about 30 minutes into the movie. So now I desperately need to watch Letters to Juliet so I can say I watched the whole thing. I do love those types of movies. Yes...I know. You don't have to say it. I hang my head in shame. I cannot help myself! I can literally recite the entire Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama movies to you if you would like. Anyway. Got home around 9pm-ish.

Wednesday ~ It was raining so didn't get to go for a walk. C posted on FB about wanting volunteers to join her for breakfast so I jumped at the chance. I am obsessed with Cracker Barrel's Apple Struesel French Toast! Yum! Had breakfast then decided to go to C's house. Ran by the store and grabbed stuff to make dinner. Ended up making it all at C's house and just having The Hubble meet us there. It was SO good. I made this garlic chicken and I tried my first artichoke with Hollandaise sauce thanks to C. Delicious dinner! Got home sometime after 9pm.

Thursday ~ Started reading blogs but had to go to and orientation at CDC (more on that later). After orientation, Little Butt and I went to the library then home around 5pm. The Hubble had to go to class so I made a nice "girl dinner" (meaning no meat) and had a delicious dinner with a glass (or more) of wine. I'll be sharing that dinner on Wednesday over at my food blog.

So that brings us to today. I had to cancel my walk because I had a migraine approaching so I took meds and laid back down for a while. Thankfully that's gone now.

I've been working on my Google Reader for a couple days and it's still in the 100's so I think I'm officially giving up. I'm sitting here with hair color in my hair and writing this update. 

I have a Dining Out/Formal/Ball (whatever you want to call it) tonight so I'll be busy tonight too. Then tomorrow I'm watching Princess so B and her hubby can go on a date. 

Maybe Sunday will allow me some down time?? We'll see.

Anyway. Thanks for getting this far. I just have to remember to breathe. I hope you all had a great week!

Book Review: Sewing Circles of Herat by Christina Lamb

Title: Sewing Circles of Herat

Author: Christina Lamb

Publication Date: February 2004

Publisher: Harper Perennial Series

Pages: 384

ISBN: 9780060505271

This review is my opinion and I have not been compensated for it in any way.  


I think I'm going to try a different format for my book reviews. Usually, I just kind of give a synopsis of the book but I don't really talk about what I think of the book. I think this book review is the perfect book to try out this new format because it elicited such an emotional response in me that I just have to talk about that. But I do want to let you know a bit about the book too. So let's see how this goes. Please let me know if you like this format or the old way better. 


Christina Lamb is a journalist from England who has traveled to Afghanistan several times in her career. These visits to this country have ranged from before and after 9/11 and the terrorist attack on the United States.

This book is checkered throughout with letters from a young lady, Marri, in Afghanistan who explains of her love of dancing and red lipstick. However, Marri's letters are also full of fear, anger and hurt because of the men who force her to hide beneath the burqa.

In this book, Christina provides pieces of Afghanistan's history; the beauty the country used to possess. She speaks of interviews with members of the Taliban. She discusses wars and how children are brought up, not to play and love, but to fight, hate and win. Christina explores and writes about every side and she does so unbiasedly; as a good journalist should.

This is the book The Hubble chose for me for July. Yes, I've been reading it for 2 months. This is not a page turner by any means. In fact, when I finished the book I simply sat there holding it for a good 5 minutes before taking it back to The Hubble in the other room. When I walked out and handed him the book he asked me "how do you feel." The only answer I could give was "drained."

This book made me feel many emotions. I felt anger toward the men who beat Marri's mother because she removed her burqa to look at a swatch of fabric. I felt sad for the families who found their loved ones hanging from tree branches. I felt scared for the women who would have secret lessons so as to continue educating the young girls in the country.

It amazes me to see pictures of women walking through the streets of Afghanistan with heels, skirts, books and their hair done in modern styles. I can hardly envision the landscape when the country is described to have been a paradise with trees, gardens, birds and exquisite beauty. Afghanistan once was a tourist destination!

But 23 years of fighting has definitely marred our memories and perceptions of this once great land. But if I feel that way, how can I imagine it would feel to be a child brought up in that environment. Can it ever change??

When I read this book, I kept thinking this is why we are there. I couldn't help but be touched by Marri's distress or the tales of men being forced into the Taliban by being threatened. On the other hand, Christina Lamb described, in such amazing detail, the hatred some people in Afghanistan feel for Americans that I found myself wondering why the Hell should we help them?? They just want to kill our people!

I don't know if this country will ever have peace. I keep thinking about the movie "Lady in the Water." There's a part in the movie where they talk about the author of a book. This book will be written and it will be found by a young boy. This boy will take this book and read it. This boy will change the world because of this one book. I keep thinking we need that one book and that one boy. But even if the book and the boy were to meet, that boy wouldn't be able to read that book. Education in that country is gone.

When The Hubble was in Afghanistan last year, he got to talking with his interpreter during a recon mission. The Hubble asked his interpreter "Will Afghanistan ever have peace?" To this, the interpreter replied "Without education there will be no peace."

This book was difficult and emotional to read but I'm glad I did. I've been having trouble understanding why The Hubble is SO passionate about these people and why he wants to get back as quickly as possible. After reading this book...I get it. I absolutely get it....

So there it is. My unfiltered thoughts of this book. I'm so glad I read it. It may not have been a page turner and it may have taken me two months to read but I'm changed because I have read it.

5 of 5 stars.

How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 3

A couple weeks ago I did a guest post for Kris Goes Crazy because she was looking for answers about how best to help her good friend who is deployed right now. I think this is such an important topic that I wanted to feature this post on my blog as well. After writing the guest post, I realized it was a lot longer than I had anticipated so I'm going to feature it in a 3 part series of posts. If you have already read it, feel free to skip over these few posts. Thanks for your patience and support of not only me and my blog but also our military!

Part 3:

In the last two parts of this series I have talked a lot about how you can support a soldier and the soldier's spouse.

Let's face it though. As Amber from Goodnight Moon put it...everyone gets wrapped up in their own lives and these soldiers and spouses aren't always at the forefront of thought for most people. And that's okay too.

All we ask is that those around us be a bit sensitive and understanding of our different situation.

With that being said...there is no reason that you (whether you are a spouse, family member, friend  or stranger) do what you can and only that. So this leads me into part 3 of my support series.

Photo by Jhong Dizon

Here are some tips on how to support a friend during deployment if the friend is you.

• Give What You Can ~ I know I’ve talked a lot about what you can give to a soldier and a spouse during deployment. But you can only give what you can give. No more. No less. If you are being pulled in too many directions, do not try to give more than you are able. People can tell when other’s are not being genuine. If you are trying to support someone because that’s what you are supposed to do, not what you want to do, then please let someone else do it.  

• Know Your Limits ~ If you have never been involved with the military it can be difficult. Heck, it’s difficult for me. Do not be afraid to set boundaries and know your limits. Let the soldier and or the spouse know the type and extent of information you would or would not like to know. If you do not think you can handle knowing that the soldier was in a fire fight, set that boundary. You are well within your rights to set those boundaries and to expect others to maintain them. One important question The Hubble asked me during one of our early phone calls during a deployment was how much I wanted to know. I made the right choice for me and you can make the right choice for you. 

• Fill Your Time ~ If you ever really analyze how a soldier’s spouse and or children fill their time during deployments you will often note that they hardly stop moving. Parents enroll children in almost every activity and sport imaginable. During a deployment pre Little Butt you would rarely find me at home. I would work longer days. I would go out at night. I would hang out at work after my shift just to not be alone. Just to not stop and think about the situation. It never gets easier. You just do what you have to do. At a certain point your life develops a new routine. But the ache never stops.

For Further Reading Check Out:

• How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 1
• How to Support a Friend During Deployment Part 2
  

How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 2

A couple weeks ago I did a guest post for Kris Goes Crazy because she was looking for answers about how best to help her good friend who is deployed right now. I think this is such an important topic that I wanted to feature this post on my blog as well. After writing the guest post, I realized it was a lot longer than I had anticipated so I'm going to feature it in a 3 part series of posts. If you have already read it, feel free to skip over these few posts. Thanks for your patience and support of not only me and my blog but also our military!


Part 2:


Many people are needed during a deployment to help the deployed soldier. These people range from friends, family, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiances and even strangers. A myriad of support systems and programs are in place to help the soldier "muscle" through deployments.


However, the other side of this are the loved ones who get left behind. What happens to the soldier's spouse and family when the soldier deploys?


Yes, there are FRGs (Family Readiness Groups) but spouses often need just as much support from friends and family as the soldiers do.


I recently read a post by the beautiful and amazing Mowenackie where she answered a question about what she wished she could teach civilians about deployment. Her answer was spot on. We spouses (and significant others) have trouble reaching out and asking for help. In times of need we are often left feeling lost to be able to lift our heads above water and say "I need someone, I'm lonely." We would never do it.


A few days before the post I just talked about, Mowenackie wrote a heart wrenching post about how she had A Hard Day. She definitely could have used a friend to call her up at that time and invite her out for ice cream.


Luckily, I can use Mowenackie and her wonderful blog to illustrate today's part of my series.

Here are some tips on how to help a friend during deployment if the friend is the spouse of a soldier:

• Be Present ~ One of the most important things to me was when a friend would be there for me. Each of us has our own way of dealing with things. But each time The Hubble has deployed, that friend that comes over the first day he’s gone and orders pizza and answers the door for me is the one that means the most. A spouse of a deployed soldier needs to fill time and having a friend to share that with is very important.

• Call ~ When a soldier is deployed, a spouse is lonely. Amazingly lonely. Sometimes a simple phone call and a “how ya doin’?” is enough to get us through another night, another day. Just as the soldier should not be forgotten, neither should the spouse.

• Be Sensitive ~ This one is an extremely valuable lesson to learn. Please be sensitive to the situation the spouse is in. Let me tell you about a phone call I received from a “friend” while The Hubble was gone. One day, around 8 months into the deployment, I posted on Facebook about how much I missed The Hubble and wished he was there right then. Now, I don’t do this often, but sometimes it hits you harder than others. So, this “friend” calls and proceeds to tell me how I should not miss The Hubble because men are nothing but trouble. She told me about how she was annoyed at her husband and I should be happy The Hubble wasn’t around. Really? Please, do not ever, under any circumstances call a spouse of a deployed soldier and tell them they should be happy. To tell you the truth, I would give anything to have every piece of The Hubble, especially the annoying parts, just to have him safe and home. I will never find myself lucky or be happy that he is fighting for his life every moment of every day. 

For Further Reading Check Out:

• How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 1
• How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 3

How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 1

A couple weeks ago I did a guest post for Kris Goes Crazy because she was looking for answers about how best to help her good friend who is deployed right now. I think this is such an important topic that I wanted to feature this post on my blog as well. After writing the guest post, I realized it was a lot longer than I had anticipated so I'm going to feature it in a 3 part series of posts. If you have already read it, feel free to skip over these few posts. Thanks for your patience and support of not only me and my blog but also our military!

Part 1:

Growing up in the military I have never thought about what it meant to be an “outsider.”  This lifestyle has always been a part of me. Though I never intended to become an Army wife, sometimes life deals you the hand you are most capable of playing.  Therefore, it wasn’t surprising to me or anyone else in my family that the college boy I fell in love with turned out to be a soldier through and through.

Though I have always lived this life, I must tell you it still isn’t easy.  Being the daughter of a soldier and being the wife of a soldier are two completely different animals.  However, I do believe that my childhood experiences helped train me, so to speak, to embrace and succeed within my role as an Army wife.
The military’s acceptance and inclusion of a soldier’s spouse and children has come a long way in recent years.  Once upon a time the idea of a FRG (Family Readiness Group) was unfathomable.  Nowadays spouses and children have a plethora of resources available to assist and support them through PCS (Permanent Change of Station) moves, military living, and deployments.

Unfortunately, the system is not perfect and most times friends and extended family are left spinning without knowledge of how to survive a loved one’s deployment.  I think it is important that we acknowledge and value the integral role friends and family play in not only a deployed soldier’s life, but the lives of the soldier’s spouse and children’s lives as well.  Sadly, many friends are just not aware of how they can help or what they can do to support the soldier, the spouse and themselves during times of deployment.

Photo by The U.S. Army

Here are some tips on how best to support a friend if the friend is the soldier:

• Communication ~ The old saying “communication is key” is a lesson that should definitely be heeded. Most of the time, the soldier just needs a little piece of home. The soldier needs to know that the people left behind love and care for him or her. Communication is often a life line for a homesick soldier. Even if the soldier does not respond, keep writing…they are reading. Communication can be implemented in several ways and only takes a few minutes a day or can be something as simple as a half hour each week. Here are some ideas to keep communication open with a  soldier during deployment:
• Hand written letters
• Emails
• Cards (birthday, holidays, etc)
• Pictures

• Care Packages ~ Nothing says “I’m thinking about you” like a box full of goodies. Care packages should be personalized to the particular soldier. If you ask for a list of interests there are many things that can go into a care package. If you work in an office, you can hang a list of interests and people can donate goodies to the soldier. One tip is to get a flat rate box from the post office and grab a handful of customs forms. The flat rate boxes will cost the same amount no matter the weight so you can stuff them as full as possible. Also, as you place items in the box, write them down on the customs form so you won’t have to go back through the box to fill it out later. Here are just a few ideas of items to send in a care package: 
  
  
  
  • Magazines
  • Books
  • Music CDs
  • Snacks (candy, chips, gum, crackers, beef jerky, etc.)

• Listen ~ Though we don’t have a lot of control over how much the soldier can communicate with us, you can still make sure the soldier knows you are there to listen. Try to answer the phone as much as possible when he or she calls. When the soldier calls or writes, be responsive. Even if you don’t know what to say, just listen. And if you have to say anything, say “thank you.” Thank you for fighting. Thank you for standing the 125 degree weather. Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for doing this so I don’t have to.

• Talk ~ Please, whatever you do, don’t stop talking! Let me share my experience with you. When The Hubble would call home I felt guilty every time. All I would do was sit on the phone with him silent at the other end and I would babble. Or I would be busy talking to Little Butt. After each phone call I would kick myself because I never really let him talk. I thought “doesn’t he need to get things off his chest?” I finally came to realize that he needed me to babble on incessantly. He needed me to converse with Little Butt. Me talking about my, what I deemed trivial, day-to-day life allowed him a kind of escape from the daily horrors and frustrations he was facing. It gave him a sense of belonging. Of being part of the family.

• Share ~ Don’t hide things. I have been known to be guilty of this as well. There is a fine line here though. Let me explain. A soldier is under a tremendous amount of stress when deployed. He or she does not need to hear about the things that are inevitably falling apart at home, right? In a way, yes. But in a way, no. They need to know. You don’t want to hide things or leave them out. But instead of crying your eyes out and unloading on the soldier, fix it first. Deal with the problem then unload and let them know you got it. One of the most frustrating things for a soldier is not being around to help when the going gets rough. We just need to be able to do it tactfully. Make them feel included, but not overburdened.

For Further Reading Check Out:

• How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 2
• How to Support a Friend During Deployment: Part 3

Ready, Set, GO!

Oh my goodness.

I.

Am.

Tired.

Let's just say the weekend was full of shindigs and shenanigans and this is the first time since, maybe Thursday, that I've been able to stop. (Technically Wednesday since I spent all day deep cleaning my house). Unfortunately, that means my blog and my Google Reader have been neglected for several days because of this weekend's events.

It all started Thursday evening when I spent about 6 hours in the kitchen working on my Daring Cook's challenge then making some bacon onion cheddar biscuits for The Hubble's class the next morning. I figured they made it through a pretty stressful week of OPORD so they deserved a little something.

The next day, Friday, we had plans for some new friends to come over for dinner. So Friday was full of cooking then hanging out with our newest friends. Many bottles of wine were consumed (2 by me) and we had a fantastic time.

However, the many bottles of wine resulted in a very sleepy Maranda on Saturday. Luckily, The Hubble took kitchen duty Saturday morning while I got ready for my cake class that afternoon. I still had a couple things to get finished before we drove an hour and a half to "town" so I could attend my class. Yeah. I fell asleep on the way there...and the way back.

Sitting in class was okay. I did better this time than I have the previous couple of times. Probably because I needed to focus more to get anything done. After class, we went to Red Lobster for dinner. It was pretty much the best dinner ever! By the way, if you have never tried their Stuffed Flounder, you definitely should!

Once we got back we called it a fairly early night (that for me means before midnight) before we had to get up the next morning and start running again.

See...I have this crazy habit of not being able to say no. Especially when it comes to challenges. So I kind of double booked us. We had plans for a cook out with The Hubble's friends at 1pm then needed to be at my friend's house for a meatball throwdown at 6:30pm. If you have ever watched Bobby Flay you know what kind of throwdown I'm talking about. Like I said, I have a problem backing down from a challenge.

So I wake up on Sunday and have to make a pasta salad, meatballs (for the first time ever), marinara sauce, and silly me decided I would definitely have enough time to make a dessert too!

Everything is going good. I get the pasta salad started. I get the cupcakes baking. And I start the meatballs and marinara. The marinara tasted awesome and I cooked a bit of the meatball meat to make sure it was perfect! It was delicious! I threw those in the slow cooker so they could cook while we were gone.

I jumped in the shower and enlisted The Hubble's help to chop the rest of the stuff for the pasta salad. Then I finished up the cupcakes. We got everything done on time, early since we had to then go pick up the Polish student as well so he could go to the party too.

The cook out was awesome. I met some new ladies and talked more with some I hadn't gotten to know very well yet. It's really a shame we won't be here very long because The Hubble has some amazing people in his course. We had a really good time. Little Butt even had fun splashing through the sprinkler with the boys then searching for tigers in the "jungle."

Sadly, things started going down hill when the guys started chugging the beers (as guys will do). I ended up having to become that wife to get The Hubble out of there. That means, I had to get mad. When I went out for the fourth time to get the keys I heard him tell his friends as I walked away "uh-oh. She's pissed. I gotta go." Of course, by this point it was already 10 past 6pm and we had to take the Polish student home, go back to the house and grab the meatballs and cupcakes and head over to the meatball throwdown.

Needless to say, we were late. We rolled in around 7pm. We pulled into the driveway and The Hubble quickly jumped out of the car and ran to the woodline to rid himself of his lunch...and beer. It was actually pretty funny but I think I pretty much divorced him right then and there.

And what was even more wonderful about the day was that my meatballs...yeah...they burned. Low doesn't mean low, it means 'keep warm.' It made me sad. I didn't win the throwdown. I was so disappointed. But I redeemed myself with my dessert. You curious?? What better for a meatball throwdown than:

 Spaghetti and meatball cupcakes!!! They were fun to make and looked awesome (sorry for the crappy phone pic).

We left there around 10:30pm and headed home for bed. Sadly, this morning I woke up to a couple days worth of kitchen mess (because you know The Hubble didn't actually finish the entire kitchen, just a dishwasher load's full).

And that's my story!

How was your weekend? What did you do?

Guest Posting at Kris Goes Crazy

I'm so excited to announce that I did my first guest post!

A few days ago, Kris from Kris Goes Crazy called out on twitter asking for a military blogger to write a post on their blog about how to help a friend during deployment.

Kris's best friend is currently deployed and she didn't know what she could or should do. 

I hope my post helped her out.

So head over to Kris Goes Crazy to check out my guest post and let me know if I missed anything. She's looking for more tips so if you have any please feel free to leave them in the comments.

I Love A Man in Uniform by Lily Burana (Book Review and a {GIVEAWAY})

Title: I Love a Man in Uniform

Author: Lily Burana

Publication Date: April 2009

Publisher: Weistein Books

Pages: 352

ISBN: 9781602860834 

This review is my opinion and I have not been compensated for it in any way. 

Before I get into the review of this book I need to give you a little back story. My friend Tammy called me up one day and told me I had to drop everything and read this book. She told me a bit about it and said that I would love it because Lily Burana is like a soul sister to us. Naturally, I ordered the book right away. 

When the book arrived I told The Hubble about it. He was quite intrigued. Like he always does, he picked up the book and thumbed through it. He read a couple pages and told me he couldn't wait for me to read it because he thought I would identify with it. 

Well, this went on for a couple days until I suggested that he go ahead and read the book himself. He did. He loved it. When he was finished he proclaimed "I give her permission to hang out in our library." And so it was.

Okay. On to the review...

Lily Burana: reformed punk rocker, child rebel, former stripper, Army Officer's wife. Wha-what??? If you are like me, you just had to do a double take there. But that's right Lily Burana is all of those things and more.

I Love a Man in Uniform is Lily's memoir of how she met, fell in love with and married Mike, her Army Officer husband.

But this is not simply a love story. This is not one of those gooey novels that make you feel sticky just reading it. This story includes a lot of self doubt, hurt, anger, sacrifice and loss.

Lily and Mike's story is like so many others. But what separates them is that Lily talks about it. She talks about the uncertainty of being a 'war bride.' She reveals the struggles with depression during deployment. She dives head first into the controversial topic of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Lily never planned to marry a soldier. In fact, the day she met Mike she had no idea that was the moment that would change her life forever. But when love hits, it hits hard. There's no stopping it. That's exactly what happened to Lily and Mike.

In true military fashion, the courtship and marriage were on no one's time line but the military's. However, Lily would endure for the man she chose as her life's partner. She gave up her home, her security, her dream wedding, her confidence. Just to be married to Mike.

Lily has a voice that is raw, real and emotional. She leaves nothing out. She describes the scathing looks and criticism she faced from the 'higher ranking wives.' She offers a glimpse into the truth behind the 'perfect military family.' And she constantly runs from the 'Perfect Army Wife' and her never ending disapproval.

Through it all - the condemnation, depression, deployment and self hatred there is finally a chance for healing, acceptance and ultimately...happiness.

Lily's story is one that so many military spouses experience but very few are brave enough to admit. She is honest, revealing, heartfelt and genuine. This book offers merely a glimpse into the difficulties military spouses face on a day to day basis.

That being said, I realize that I cannot truly generalize. I identified with this woman so much that her story and hardships resonate within my soul. So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe other military spouses do not experience these same issues. But I have. I do. As have several of my closest military spouse friends. Do you? I challenge you to read Lily's story and find out.

I absolutely give this book 5 stars!!! 5 stars is probably a bit too low in my opinion.

And now I'm going to give you the opportunity to do so! In honor of The Hubble's love for this book and his upcoming birthday, I will be giving away a copy of the paperback book of this title to one lucky reader! 

All you have to do is leave a comment to enter. 

The deadline to enter this giveaway is 11:59pm on August 2nd. 

The winner will be announced on The Hubble's birthday of August 3rd. 

Good luck!

For Further Reading Check Out:

• Giveaway Winner and The Hubble Turns 32