Mz. Griz is in the Hiz

Don't forget to jump over HERE to read details and cast your guess for Baby N's gender!

Alrighty.

Remember when I wrote about my friend Chrissy??

Then she wrote a guest post for me where she updated us all on how she's been doing.

Well, apparently, writing that post really inspired her. She's been bitten by the blogging bug and started up her own blog.

So...if you would be so kind...jump over to her blog and give her some love!

Thanks!!!

Catching Up With Chrissy

Recently, I posted about my friend Chrissy and why I chose to participate in the #OperationLayla bake sale. 


After I wrote that post, I was asked how Chrissy is doing today. I realized that people wouldn't want to just read about Chrissy's struggle and that was that. They would want to know more!


I texted Chrissy and let her know that she should read my post. She did. I then asked her if she would write an 'update' so everyone could know how she is doing.


She graciously obliged to share more of her story. So here we have a guest post from Chrissy herself!


Take it away doll!

Hi! I'm Chrissy and my wonderful friend Maranda, who I love, has been such a support to me!! She said I should do a follow up to this blog, so here I am.

It's been a difficult reproductive road. I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 24. It was painful, so painful. I was told there was a possibility I would have problems getting pregnant. The doctor told me to get pregnant asap! As if, at 24, I was remotely ready to have a child! 

The pain of endometriosis was excruciating. I tried hormone treatments: continuous birth control, 8 different kinds of birth control, medically induced menopause. All this, especially the menopause, made me a bear to be around. My hormones were crazy and I couldn't even stand myself. No matter what my doctors and I tried, the pain never left.

As for doctors, I fired 5. Mostly, they were not supportive. They blamed stress (i.e. hysterical female) and when nothing worked, they became frustrated with me! The only relief I had was when I had surgery to remove the endo lesions and the adhesions from the previous surgeries. It was a vicious cycle, but it would leave me pain free for a year and a half at the most. That was better than what I'd been going through. By the time I was 30, I'd had 6 surgeries.

The worst surgery was right before Christmas of my 27th year, 2002. I was having the worst pain of my life (as time progressed, my pain threshold would increase so that worse situations wouldn't hurt as much as this hurt.). I could not turn, walk or sit comfortably. This was and has been par for the course, but this time it was much, much worse. The pain made me vomit and feel freezing. I had been to the doctor and had an internal sonogram; they found a mass on my left ovary. They did not know if I had cancer and we made an appointment for Monday to start testing. That was a Thursday. By Friday, the pain reached maximum capacity, I was rushed to the ER. The doctors took me into emergency surgery. What they found was awful.

There was a 7 cm cyst going straight through my left ovary. Both ovaries were full of large cysts. (This should have been a clear diagnosis of PCOS, but no.) The cysts were removed; my left ovary was cut open, cyst removed and sewn back together like a baseball. I had lost 1/3 of my ovary. Additionally, there were terrible adhesions and endo lesions everywhere, even on my bowels. The cyst was a chocolate cyst, full of blood clots. If it burst, a clot could have gone into my lungs, caused an embolism and killed me. They removed the cyst, the endo lesions were lasered off and I was stitched up, the recipient of a 3 inch scar and two one inch scars on either sides from the tubes. This was surgery number 6.

My doctors were still useless.

I finally found a wonderful doctor whose wife suffered from endo, too. He diagnosed me, at the age of 31, with poly cystic ovarian syndrome. If my previous doctors had discovered the PCOS sooner, the following would not have happened. 

I had another surgery to remove more cysts and endo. Number 7. And little relief from pain.

During this time I had begun a masters in secondary English education. It was a joy to go to school! I went doubled over in pain frequently, but I did not stop. When I had surgery 7, I was taking summer classes. I missed only 2 days of class and was mad at myself when I got a B in that class. As a friend pointed out, I got a B while recovering from surgery. I guess. I should have gotten an A.

But I digress. During grad school, I went to New York City to consult infertility specialists. I got devastating news. I would never get pregnant. My eggs, because of the hormone imbalances of PCOS, do not mature into viable eggs. I was told that my PCOS was at Stage 4. To put that in perspective, if it was cancer, I'd be terminal. Stage 4 is the worst stage. There was only a 60% chance of conceiving without hormone treatments. I went back home in horror, anger and anguish. I wanted to be a mother intensely. 

The pain continued. It woke me up in the night, made me sick. The cocktail of drugs I was on, that helped ease the symptoms, needed to be increased. It made me sicker. I lost 30 pounds in 2 months because I couldn't keep food down. 

I was scheduled to have surgery # 8 in December 2009, during Christmas break. I was in my first year as a teacher and had gone to school everyday, pain or no pain. I went in for surgery with the agreement and understanding that if the right ovary (which was the source of constant pain) was not viable, it would be removed. I just wanted it gone but my doctor wanted to see if it could be saved.

It could not.

The right ovary was so full of cysts and heavy that it had twisted in on itself and was stuck to my pelvic floor with scar tissue (the infamous adhesions). It had to be removed or it would become necrotic, die and poison me to death. 

I woke up one ovary short and feeling strange. 

Over the recovery period and for several months after, I felt like I was losing my mind. Mood swings were terrible; it was my body getting used to one ovary producing estrogen and that ovary getting up to speed. It eventually evened out.

The loss of the ovary had a weird effect on me. It was necessary, I knew that and that was why I wanted it gone. But there was a hollow in my pelvis that I could sense and feel. I began to feel like less of a woman while i adjusted. My anger at my situation grew steadily. How could this happen? Why? Why? Why? I cursed God and was an absolute bitch to be around. People would say condescending things such as the doctors don't know everything, you're worrying too much, and my favorite: are you sure you can't have kids? People can be callous and I wanted to punch them all when they said such things.

The PCOS and endo was resounding repercussions throughout my life. I had lost a job due to how much sick time I took, my husband left me because he couldn't bear the thought of child not his own (there were also other reasons we divorced) and I lived in pain. But battling these diseases also gave me new perspective. If this is the plan, then maybe I am supposed to adopt. There are children who need a good and loving home and that I can provide. It's also made me more compassionate toward people who suffer. Oh and I don't hate God anymore, but that's another blog, perhaps. I still get angry and cry but I try to make lemonade out of this situation. Maybe I can help other suffers and help those who love us understand.

These diseases are autoimmune diseases. We who suffer may look healthy and act healthy most of the time. We may gain weight (PCOS makes our bodies think we're diabetic and hold onto every calorie. I gained a LOT of weight, it sucked. I tried everything but WeightWatchers is the only thing that has helped me lose weight). The hormone fluctuations may bring on depression, anger, bipolar disorder, etc. They may cause our joints to swell and ache. We have to conserve our energy and get lots of rest. They affect every aspect of our lives. We may have to cancel dates or outings at the last minute due to pain and sickness. People may not understand and start to drift away. Then, we are alone, all alone to deal with these diseases. We find out who truly loves us because those are the people that stick around, no matter how miserable we feel. Those are the people that matter and are the gold in our lives.

Dealing with PCOS, endo and infertility is exhausting, challenging and depressing. But it makes me enjoy the good, healthy days all the more. Ironically, I feel blessed. I know who my friends are, realized with much greater understanding how wonderful and loving my family is and seen what I can endure with grace and humor. 

I am happy to say I have only been in the ER for pain twice since my last surgery! But I do not have insurance; I'm an unemployed teacher. I am trying to navigate the world of government health care. 

I hate insurance companies. It's easier to insure your car than yourself. I've been turned down because of my pre-existing conditions. Also, the rates these companies charge are criminal. They are bloodsucking leeches who thrive off pain and misery. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Ok let's end on a happy note! Today, I am in a relationship with a wonderful man who wants to adopt. I do not want to do fertility hormone treatments because my mother is a breast cancer survivor. I do not want to make my child a potentially motherless child. 

I want to help others like me. I've been dealing with this for more than a decade now. I want to hear other women's stories. We can help support each other. My email is cgrizanti@mac.com. My Twitter is @WhirlyCurls. My Facebook can be found is Christina Elizabeth Grizanti. Find me. Let's form a virtual support group and help other women like us.


All my love, 
Christina

Ready, Set, GO!

Oh my goodness.

I.

Am.

Tired.

Let's just say the weekend was full of shindigs and shenanigans and this is the first time since, maybe Thursday, that I've been able to stop. (Technically Wednesday since I spent all day deep cleaning my house). Unfortunately, that means my blog and my Google Reader have been neglected for several days because of this weekend's events.

It all started Thursday evening when I spent about 6 hours in the kitchen working on my Daring Cook's challenge then making some bacon onion cheddar biscuits for The Hubble's class the next morning. I figured they made it through a pretty stressful week of OPORD so they deserved a little something.

The next day, Friday, we had plans for some new friends to come over for dinner. So Friday was full of cooking then hanging out with our newest friends. Many bottles of wine were consumed (2 by me) and we had a fantastic time.

However, the many bottles of wine resulted in a very sleepy Maranda on Saturday. Luckily, The Hubble took kitchen duty Saturday morning while I got ready for my cake class that afternoon. I still had a couple things to get finished before we drove an hour and a half to "town" so I could attend my class. Yeah. I fell asleep on the way there...and the way back.

Sitting in class was okay. I did better this time than I have the previous couple of times. Probably because I needed to focus more to get anything done. After class, we went to Red Lobster for dinner. It was pretty much the best dinner ever! By the way, if you have never tried their Stuffed Flounder, you definitely should!

Once we got back we called it a fairly early night (that for me means before midnight) before we had to get up the next morning and start running again.

See...I have this crazy habit of not being able to say no. Especially when it comes to challenges. So I kind of double booked us. We had plans for a cook out with The Hubble's friends at 1pm then needed to be at my friend's house for a meatball throwdown at 6:30pm. If you have ever watched Bobby Flay you know what kind of throwdown I'm talking about. Like I said, I have a problem backing down from a challenge.

So I wake up on Sunday and have to make a pasta salad, meatballs (for the first time ever), marinara sauce, and silly me decided I would definitely have enough time to make a dessert too!

Everything is going good. I get the pasta salad started. I get the cupcakes baking. And I start the meatballs and marinara. The marinara tasted awesome and I cooked a bit of the meatball meat to make sure it was perfect! It was delicious! I threw those in the slow cooker so they could cook while we were gone.

I jumped in the shower and enlisted The Hubble's help to chop the rest of the stuff for the pasta salad. Then I finished up the cupcakes. We got everything done on time, early since we had to then go pick up the Polish student as well so he could go to the party too.

The cook out was awesome. I met some new ladies and talked more with some I hadn't gotten to know very well yet. It's really a shame we won't be here very long because The Hubble has some amazing people in his course. We had a really good time. Little Butt even had fun splashing through the sprinkler with the boys then searching for tigers in the "jungle."

Sadly, things started going down hill when the guys started chugging the beers (as guys will do). I ended up having to become that wife to get The Hubble out of there. That means, I had to get mad. When I went out for the fourth time to get the keys I heard him tell his friends as I walked away "uh-oh. She's pissed. I gotta go." Of course, by this point it was already 10 past 6pm and we had to take the Polish student home, go back to the house and grab the meatballs and cupcakes and head over to the meatball throwdown.

Needless to say, we were late. We rolled in around 7pm. We pulled into the driveway and The Hubble quickly jumped out of the car and ran to the woodline to rid himself of his lunch...and beer. It was actually pretty funny but I think I pretty much divorced him right then and there.

And what was even more wonderful about the day was that my meatballs...yeah...they burned. Low doesn't mean low, it means 'keep warm.' It made me sad. I didn't win the throwdown. I was so disappointed. But I redeemed myself with my dessert. You curious?? What better for a meatball throwdown than:

 Spaghetti and meatball cupcakes!!! They were fun to make and looked awesome (sorry for the crappy phone pic).

We left there around 10:30pm and headed home for bed. Sadly, this morning I woke up to a couple days worth of kitchen mess (because you know The Hubble didn't actually finish the entire kitchen, just a dishwasher load's full).

And that's my story!

How was your weekend? What did you do?