Thursday, February 9, 2012

And I Miss You {Project 365: Day 39}

I know, I know. I said I would catch up with my last post.

But I wanted today to be a solo post.

Because I actually wanted to write something and didn't want it all wrapped up in a catch up post.

We took Baby N to his 6 month well baby check up. He is now 17 pounds 12 ounces (55th percentile) and 28.5 inches (99th percentile). So his weight is evening out but he grew THREE INCHES in the last 2 months. Crazy!!

He's getting so big!

I can't stop thinking about how much The Hubble is missing right now.

Baby N is starting to get up on his hands and knees and launch himself forward.

He's been rolling all over the place and is growing like crazy.

I know he's going to be crawling soon.

And The Hubble is missing it.

Baby N babbles ALL.THE.TIME. And The Hubble can't hear him.

Not only that, but Little Butt is so smart and learning so much in school!

She can already count to 30. She recognizes numbers 0-9 when they are written. She knows all the upper case letters, 25 of the lower case letters (she confuses d with b), and knows the sounds of 25 letters (gets confused with i).

She has so many questions. So many interest.

And The Hubble is missing it.

Not only that, but we are missing him...

I had a hard day yesterday. Knowing that Baby N is already half a year old and he doesn't even know who his Daddy is.

Little Butt has been missing him like crazy lately.

I picked her up from school a week or so ago and found out she had been pretty emotional that day and ended up crying because she missed her daddy.

She sat in my lap and cried last night because she misses her daddy.

And she carried around a picture of the two of them. Literally, she took it everywhere with her.

She took it to the doctor's office with her this morning.

She took it to school with her this afternoon.

I had placed it in a pocket of her backpack when she went to school but when I picked her up, it was in her hand and she was showing people.

She's so sweet.

He has not been living with us for almost 9 months now but we aren't even close to being done. Technically, we are still at the beginning.

I feel as though the ache...the emptiness...keeps growing each and every day.

There are only so many things that I can add to our schedules to keep us busy enough not to notice.

But we do notice.

We notice when he isn't at birthday parties that Little Butt is invited to.

We notice when he isn't shopping for furniture or Valentine's Day cards with us.

We notice when we go to doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, or to pick out Little Butt's star prize at the end of the week.

We notice.

The void is impossible NOT to notice.

He called on Sunday. We really needed that call. But we missed it...

And we noticed...
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