Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Love and Acceptance Start Here

This weekend I tried to go shopping.

With the weather turning cooler I have realized that I don't have any cold weather clothes. Well...I guess that's not true. I have a few items that I can wear.

Unfortunately, since I've gained about 20 pounds here in the middle of nowhere, nothing really fits.

Living in Texas for a year and losing a ton of weight didn't help either. You don't really need cold weather clothes in Texas. At least not if you spent the previous 5 years in upstate New York.

So...The Hubble decided that it was time to acquire me some clothes. We decided to try out a town we've never been to because they have a decent outlet mall. The outlet mall was pretty awesome but there were about a million people there.

Seriously. It was like Black Friday kind of crowds. It was insane!

I do not like large crowds. I either get overwhelmed and become timid or I get frustrated and start throwing elbows. Neither of these makes for a good shopping trip.

So after several hours of trying to look in stores, I walked away with no clothes. Unless you count the handful of outfits we found for Little Butt.

We are going to try again this weekend. But this time we will go to the mall we know.

I'm nervous.

I don't like shopping.

I especially don't like shopping when I'm feeling unhappy about my weight and my body.

It's annoying. I think I still have that "fat girl" brain that tells me I won't look good in anything that I like. So I don't even try.

I see something cute and I usually just keep walking. I will then pick up what The Hubble calls a "frumpy" shirt in an extra large size.

What's that about???

I mean, yes. I have gained weight here. But my pant size is still in the single digits (not for long if I keep going the way I'm going). I definitely don't need extra large shirts.

I need to embrace my body.

After having Little Butt my body changed drastically. I feel like I will never get rid of the squishy middle and muffin top (unless I pay for it).

I feel good about working out but I need to get my eating under control.

Either way, I need to be happy with me. Whether I accept me or change it.

When I was looking for a picture to put with this post I found one of the most beautiful photos I've ever seen.

Photo by meddygarnet

In the description of this picture she says that she's often unhappy with her body but her husband wrote that message to her on the mirror. 

She has inspired me to accept myself and understand that we are all different...but all beautiful.

We are all different shapes and sizes. Colors and creeds. But no matter what, we are all beautiful. Why can't we embrace our differences?? I wouldn't want to look exactly like someone else. I kind of like me (most of the time).

But if I'm not happy...only I have the power to change it.

So wish me luck with my shopping trip this Saturday! I need some clothes dang it!!

Do you have any hang ups with your body? Do you love the way you look?
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