I'm Getting Too Old for This Sh....

The Hubble and I had a great night last night. We didn't really do anything. We just sat together at the table and talked. Little Butt ran around playing. Riding her firetruck. Riding her plane. Going up and down the stairs. She was pretty much in her own world (as usual).

The night before last, The Hubble came home and basically fell asleep into his dinner plate. After pulling a couple all nighter's the boy was just beat. And let me tell you...this chick? Yeah, no sympathy for that guy! No way, now how. It's his own damn fault he decided to procrastinate and not start his crazy intense paper 3 weeks ago when he found out about it. Instead, he waited until about 4 days before it was due to work on it. Oh well. He finished it and he hopefully won't be pulling that nonsense again. I hope this was the smack in the a** he needed.

So yeah. Last night we sit down to a great dinner. We had great conversation. And naturally, because it's us, we popped over a bottle of wine with dinner. Then popped open a bottle of wine with dessert. But let me tell you, having a dinner of nothing but fish and vegetables and the lightest dessert you could ever dream of (which I'll be posting about on my food blog on the 27th), with a bottle of wine each, with no carbs to soak it up...what I'm saying is we got....tipsy? Haha! We got pretty buzzed. We had intense conversations about where our lives and the Army are taking us. We had a fairly heated conversation about the General McChrystal blunder. Then we both became passionate and loud about where we want to go next. It's still a guessing game at this point. There's a program he wants to get into that will take us one of three places: Virginia, Florida, or Belgium. I can't help but dream about Belgium.

Anyway...I digress. That all is for a different post. Today it's all about the fact that waking up after last night's antics has not been my favorite thing to do today. I have punchy head and dry eyes. I'm trying to motivate myself to go workout but I just haven't achieved that yet.

The one person who benefited from last night's dinner?

That's right! Little Butt! We got so into what we were talking about that we kind of lost track of time and missed bedtime. By a lot. We (and I use the royal "we" here because it was really The Hubble) realized it was 10:30pm and she wasn't in bed yet! Ooops! Fail!!

So I've decided that people who are officially in their 30's should never pull nights like that. We are just too damn old.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this stuff! Do you have any drunken home stories??

Dad's Day 2010 Recap

I know this is a day late but I wanted to share what we did for Daddy's Day. The Hubble stayed up until 4am yesterday (Saturday night) because he's been working on a paper that was due today. He's known about this paper for a few weeks now so I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for him and the fact that he has had to pull a few overnights to get it done. So when Dad's day rolled around I had no issues waking him up when Little Butt and I got up. LOL!!! Actually, that's not true. I closed the door and tried to let him sleep in but he got up with us anyway.

We started by giving him his Dad's Day presents. We got him Anthony Bourdain's new book, a hamburger patty press, his favorite candy bar, and a counting coin jug thing.

After the gift opening, I made him some breakfast. Then we decided to go have a fun day at the park.

Woah! Look what Daddy can do!!

That's incredible!

Little Butt can do some spectacular tricks as well! She even climbed this ladder alone!

But Daddy has a bit more experience.

Next it was time to explore the "forest."

We looked at rocks...

And trees.

But it was so hot...

So we had a watermelon snack!

But it was still super hot so we left. We went home to take a tubby...

Then we went out to dinner.

A BBQ dinner.

Because BBQ is "man" food (make sure when you say "man" you add a low growl with that).

Oh yeah...I'd say he had a good day.

Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey

I think I needed yesterday's dream to help get me out of this...mood? Funk? That I've been in lately. I don't know what it is but I've been feeling kind of weird and annoyed. Especially when it comes to The Hubble.

I know that sounds terrible. But we've barely seen each other these last...pretty much 3 years...possibly longer. Let me give you a little rundown:

February 2006 he deployed to Afghanistan.
July 2006 he came back to be Rear Detachment Commander. He had 300 other wives and didn't have time for me. No problem. I'll wait.
August 2007 he took command of a company after having given up Rear-D one month prior. Work schedule from 4am-10pm until he moved us to TX in October 2008, went back to duty station while leaving us in TX.
December 2008 Deployed to Afghanistan until December 2009.

Even though he's been back since December, Little Butt and I were still in TX and he was in NY. We met up and moved to our current duty station at the end of April. So we have pretty much been living together only about 2 months. Actually, a little under two months.

I've been having a slightly difficult time adjusting to him being home...all the time.

See, The Hubble is now in a school environment. He had a week and a half off when we first moved here. Okay, that's fine since we needed to unpack and everything. Then he kept going in and coming home for a couple days. When he finally started the actual class, he came home at noon for a week or two.

I'm just not used to him being around so much! I know this all sounds horrible but it's difficult to having your own space, schedule and home to having someone around constantly! Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing...I'm just saying it's been an adjustment.

I think my dream was a definite wake up call though. It's time to buck up and get through this adjustment period. It's been about two months and I should be able to adapt quicker than that. I need to. The time we have together is so short and so precious that I shouldn't waste it by being annoyed that he's coming home at noon every day and taking a nap.

I need to appreciate the fact that we pretty much have a year of stabilized time together. I need to be grateful for this time that we have to reconnect and share our lives. I need to not take him and this time for granted and use it for all that it's worth. Because who knows what tomorrow may bring. Life is too short for the adjustment period to be longer than this. It's time to get it back. To be happy. To be together. To love each other. It's time baby. I'm here. Now. I'm in it for the long haul so let's get after it.

Can't Shake the Feeling

I had a crazy, horrible dream this morning and I just can't shake it from my system. I even woke up for a while then went back to the dream. Blah. I feel jittery and yucky and emotionally drained this morning.

The dream was about The Hubble. Losing him.

The first dream I found out somehow on the phone that he was dead (the details are a bit fuzzy on how this happened but you know dreams). I had been told this news and had been crying for an entire day and trying to still go through my life and do the things I was supposed to do. The next day, I was a bit better, then the official news came. A man came to my door with a note, kind of like they did in the old days. My mom and older sister opened the door and my older sister received the note and started crying and saying "no, no!" Then I grabbed the note and sat on the floor to wait for the FRG reinforcements to arrive (which all the briefings I've gone to says this is supposed to happen).

That's when The Hubble woke me up to kiss me goodbye before he took off for PT. I felt his face and his shoulders. I could hardly believe he was still here. I hugged him as tightly as I could and he asked if I was okay. I told him I had a bad dream and he told me I was okay. I told him that I was happy he was okay.

Okay, things are good. He leaves for work, I go back to sleep (it was 5am and there's no way I was getting up then!!).

I guess I went back to the dream. This time, I was refusing to believe he was gone. I kept getting things that made me think he was still alive. I received a letter from him in the mail. I was at a book store and someone official looking brought me another note, but it was from The Hubble. I kept denying that he could be gone. Then I received his things in the mail. As in true weird dreamy fashion, all of his things were just stuffed in the mailbox. No box or anything. And it was the type of mailbox we had in Ft. Lewis that connected from the outside to the inside of the house through the wall. As I was pulling out PT pants and shirts I was on the phone with my older sister (in this dream she had no idea since I hadn't told her since I didn't believe it). I was telling her that this must mean he's really gone. Then I knew. I pulled his shaving kit out of the mailbox. I looked inside and his wallet with his license and ID card was there. I started screaming and crying hysterically. The ugly cry. The one where you can't breathe. This is when I woke up for good.

I feel bad about posting this. There's a blog I know of where the girl recently lost her hubby and she's really going through this. She posted recently and she's on my mind a lot, which could be why I had this dream.

People deal with the reality of this situation all the time. I've known a couple people who have had to go through this. Mine was just a dream. Get over it. I just can't shake it you know?? I needed to put it somewhere. It felt so real. It took everything I had, all my energy, my emotions. I'm exhausted.

I hope and pray that this dream will never come to fruition. But I know I don't really have any say over this.

I hope Little Butt had better dreams than mommy did....

Do you ever have dreams that feel so real that you  have trouble getting back to "reality"??

Are they ever good or usually pretty craptastic?

Playtime and Exploration Fun

Sometimes I go through my pictures and I am punched in the gut by some of them. We went playing around the neighborhood recently and the above picture is one that I captured. I think Little Butt is just absolutely stunning in this picture.

At first we didn't know what to do outside. And it was WAY hot.

But then we found some rocks...

And thought it would be fun to throw them.

Then we looked at dried up worms.

Little Butt tried to run away...

But quickly came back.

Then we discovered the gazebo...

So we climbed...

And hung out...

And sat...

And ran from side to side.

Little Butt is a ball of energy. She's tons of fun. She's smart. She's beautiful.

How did I get so lucky???